She's in, awesome (why wouldn't she be, she beats me every time).
(Deal Countries)
What a sweet spread, most of South America and North America, better stockpile the neutral guys in europe so she can't get that.
(Distribute initial armies)
Dude I am so in, time for an ass-kicking...
"Ready? Let's roll to see who goes first."
(I get high roll)
I am totally on fire
(First couple turns go as planned, I mop up South America, march my way up the east coast of the US and secure an extra 5 guys per turn. To be safe I fortify my men from Greenland into Iceland)
Okay, up next, plump up the border in Iceland while working into Asia, it'll take her another turn at least to get Europe w/ all those neutral armies.
(*Plump* border of ~9 men is attacked, clash of titans in Iceland's rolling green hills, my army is decimated within a few rolls)
"Fuck, I can't buy a six! Or anything over a three for that matter!"
She's the luckiest person I know, she should buy a lotto ticket
(Continued onslaught through Greenland and on towards South America, I roll 1... 2... 1...)
"Son of a *&%@*!!!"
I'm going to fucking kill someone, fuck you Eastern United States, Fuck you!
(Battle subsides, damage has been done. I have lost US and South America, left with strong holdings in Brazil and Alaska and 1 man in a few others. Total casualties ~15 on my side, 1 on hers. I trade in, 9 guys to place time to take back my homeland)
Here we go...
(I march back against her attack, things don't go nearly as planned. One-and-ones all along the way. I get to Greenland and stop, Fuck the Icelanders)
"Just gotta hold Greenland".
These guys better hold, Lord can I get a six, come on sixes.
I wonder how many she gets...12! are you serious, 12!
(Cannon plops down onto Iceland as if dropped by the hand of God himself)
I am so dead, this game lasted all of what, 15 minutes...
Who's bright idea was this anyway... Oh ya, mine.
(Blood pressure rising)
Must remain calm...maybe I can hold up stranger things have happened.
(She rolls, I roll)
Jenny, "Six Five"
Me, "Two One"
FUCK, are you kidding, come on Greenland what are you good for??
(She rolls, I roll)
Jenny, "Fives"
Me, "Four One"
Never again, never again, never again...
(The cold hand of death touches my men, they cease to be and my world turns red)
"Fuck!"
Jenny, "Sorry babe"
Ya right, she's as competitive as me and she's loving every minute of this.
(Flick, off goes my man across the room. I get up to get him. The box looks so innocent)
Fuck this game
(With a swift kick, black and grey pieces as far as the eye can see)
"This game sucks"
(I spend the next 5 minutes picking up army men while Jenny cleans up the board, I know she won, she knows I know she won, but I won't admit it)
I'm such a baby...
----------------
-Jae
PS: Does anyone want to buy a board game?
2 comments:
You wave way to much time on ur hands and jae we both know risk is a sacred item
Umm dude, why the hell do you have so many men on Chile? are you waiting for an attack from antartica? FORTIFIY Brazil, you know the Africans are always trying move east!
Post a Comment