ointing city. It is a caricature of what people think Americans want and need; Applebees, tgi Fridays, and every other chain restaurant known to man. Set in the center of this jewel is the skylon tower a restaurant featuring $60 plates of mediocre. The view trumped it, but we needed to see an idealic Canadian town, and niagra on the lake fit the bill. Vinyards and gardens nestled amongst the mountains, paradise with mulleted townsfolk. After a trip to a winery and several glasses of wine later, it was helicopter time. Flights over falls are awesome. The night ended with a Canadian who looked like art garfunkels older brother, but sounded like Bon Jovi. It was a good trip!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
No Moose, one otter and several hockey fans eh
I got off a plane in the land of our friendly neighbors to the north in a town called Toronto, and I was immediately greeted by a chorus of hey buddy your bags are on carousel nine. I made my way into a shuttle that would take me to the Marriott in downtown where I would meet up with Cristina and have a much deserved beer, but little did I know said beer, of all the fine beers produced by Canadian hands, would be a Labatte. It is bud lights retarded little cousin, it is friendly, but you still have to cover the light sockets when he comes to visit. I drank tequila shots from then on, Mexico and Canada are both our neighbors who cares if I currently resided in the wrong cardinal direction. Hazy as the night had become my two female companions brought my attention to the fact that the women in this place had all been born with extra equipment, and that the man with the dog collar offering to buy me drinks was in fact interested in entertainment I wanted no part of. I decided my liver had been properly exercised making up for the 7 hour delay in Houston, I had better call it a night before someone decided to climb everest. Morning came all too quickly and I had a rental car waiting for us, destination Niagra Falls. I was informed that the bar from last night was a last minute substitution for a bring your own bud comedy club; easiest job in the world has to be comedian for a bunch of stoned canadians. The drive to niagra was interupted by a stop at a Canadian mcdonalds because they always have the weirdest food am this trip was no exception; Thai peanut chicken sandwiches on mini toasted French bread loafs, perfect. We made are way to the falls staying 20 floors above the natural wonder in a suite featuring a jacuzzi. My couch needs to be replaced by a jacuzzi and Mr. Bubble. The shock of the falls is that next to a one of a kind miracle of nature is the most dissapp
ointing city. It is a caricature of what people think Americans want and need; Applebees, tgi Fridays, and every other chain restaurant known to man. Set in the center of this jewel is the skylon tower a restaurant featuring $60 plates of mediocre. The view trumped it, but we needed to see an idealic Canadian town, and niagra on the lake fit the bill. Vinyards and gardens nestled amongst the mountains, paradise with mulleted townsfolk. After a trip to a winery and several glasses of wine later, it was helicopter time. Flights over falls are awesome. The night ended with a Canadian who looked like art garfunkels older brother, but sounded like Bon Jovi. It was a good trip!
ointing city. It is a caricature of what people think Americans want and need; Applebees, tgi Fridays, and every other chain restaurant known to man. Set in the center of this jewel is the skylon tower a restaurant featuring $60 plates of mediocre. The view trumped it, but we needed to see an idealic Canadian town, and niagra on the lake fit the bill. Vinyards and gardens nestled amongst the mountains, paradise with mulleted townsfolk. After a trip to a winery and several glasses of wine later, it was helicopter time. Flights over falls are awesome. The night ended with a Canadian who looked like art garfunkels older brother, but sounded like Bon Jovi. It was a good trip!
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6 comments:
Josh I want to pay for you to go on my next trip so you can write about it because you manage to find the little details lost on many of us. That way if somebody ever asks how my trip was I just hand them whatever you wrote and I will be able to sit and watch their confused yet delighted expression on their face.
great point nick, it's the little things in life. josh, glad you had a good trip up north... your next trip needs to be with us to vegas.
I did an October break trip to Niagra Falls. Granted we found a bar about 3 blocks from the falls that was having a great special, 1 loony for a pint of Honey Brown. That is how we spent our days, playing asshole and kings until we were asked to leave. They did however let us come back the following day. Nights were spent at some pretty seedy strip clubs, Mint and a name I cannot remember. $50 american got you almost anything you wanted.
Drew, would that include a S J?
If you have to ask, you cannot afford it. But it was a ZJ.
The best part was Cristina was traveling on the federal dime, and I bought a sweet ass adventure time hat. Also purchased a panda hat that was going to be for my niece, but it was too awesome to let go of.
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